EPISODE 79: BE PRAYERFUL-LAMENT

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A MESSAGE FROM MONICA:

It makes no sense for the woman who’s struggled for a decade to learn of a cancer diagnosis for a parent; for a mother whose child has special needs to discover her husband has been unfaithful; for a friend who’s remained single until her 40s to have her fiancé break off the engagement. It’s unfathomable and nonsensical all at the same time; and when the call comes with the news that the pain is heading deeper and further yet, you remove your glasses and rub your eyes and cry out to the Lord, “What the heck, Man?? WHAT. THE. HECK?!”

And sometimes you use words much stronger than “heck” because you just need to.

The crawling for some is a long, hard, rocky road that screams of unfairness, dirty plays and bad refereeing. For those, knees are bloody and bruised, nails jagged and chipped, faces a mixture of sweat, tears and dust. They fight and claw and beg themselves mercy from the pain…and it seems as though God remains silent, refusing to listen or acknowledge. And we, the ones who stand by holding up the arms of the desperate, are beside ourselves with disbelief that it’s still going on and we’re not even the battle weary, the broken or the beaten down. It’s not over yet?! becomes a tired refrain that plays again and again and what on earth can we do but pray and trust and believe that one day they will emerge with wings, even when there’s no cocoon in sight?

Biblical lament never loses sight of God. It’s always a prayer to God. The character of lament for us is different. We don’t mourn as those who have no hope. – Michael Card

I’ve learned the most from those who lament biblically. I’ve watched them pour out their hearts to God with nothing but one word of one worship song because that is all they can muster; those who weep from a depth that has no bottom, has no floor. I’ve watched as Jesus has rubbed their heads and consoled as their tears wash His feet, and those are the sermons that have preached more to me than from any pulpit in any church. Watching these lamenters has increased my personal faith because I have seen first hand their hope. Like Michael Card says above, they don’t mourn as those who have no hope. No matter their questions, they trust God can handle it. No matter their fears, they know God can handle it. No matter their unbelief, they know God will increase their belief. 

Whoever feels like their feelings don’t matter — whoever dismisses their “negative” emotions, or waves them away with a cliche (and I know because I’ve done this) — you’re doing yourself a disservice by missing out on the closeness to God that biblical lament brings you. Your trust, faith and hope grow deeper when you truly believe God is bigger than your distrust, lack of faith and hopelessness. Give yourself permission today to fully feel. To fully pour out your heart, no matter how hard or ridiculous it seems to you. If Jesus can do it, we can too.

BE IN THE WORD (this week’s verses):

O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long? Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. (Psalm 6:1-4) 

Pray always. Pray in the Spirit. Pray about everything in every way you know how! (Eph 6:18)

Rise up, O Eternal One! Rescue me, O God! For You have dealt my enemies a strong blow to the jaw! You have shattered their teeth! Do so again. (Psalm 3:7)

I’m exhausted. I cannot even speak, my voice fading as sighs. Every day ends in the same place—lying in bed, covered in tears, my pillow wet with sorrow. My eyes burn, devoured with grief; they grow weak as I constantly watch for my enemies. (Psalm 6:6-7)

Why, O Eternal One, are You so far away? Why can’t You be found during troubling times? Mean and haughty people hunt down the poor. May they get caught up in their own wicked schemes. (Psalm 10:1-2)

Do not allow them to gloat over me, “Aha, we have won! We got what we wanted!” Do not allow them to brag, “We chewed him up and spit him out.” Shame and confuse those who celebrate my suffering; may those who exalt themselves above me be covered with shame—wrapped in a cloak of dishonor! (Psalm 35:25-26)

How long must I cry, O Eternal One, and get no answer from You? Even when I yell to You, “Violence is all around!” You do nothing to save those in distress. Why do You force me to see these atrocities? Why do You make me watch such wickedness? Disaster and violence, conflict and controversy are raging all around me. Your law is powerless to stop this; injustice prevails. The depraved surround the innocent, and justice is perverted. (Habakkuk 1:2-4)

BE EDUCATED (additional resources):

  1. A Sacred Sorrow: Reaching Out to God in the Lost Language of Lament by Michael Card. The book Monica references in the podcast.
  2. Pouring Out Your Heart in Lament to God. Great application on how to personally write a prayer of lament.
  3. Liturgical Lament in Times of Crisis. This article talks about the biblical structure of prayers of lament.
  4. Lament: The Dark Side of the Journey. This is the article with the quotes by Michael Card referenced in the podcast.
  5. Biblical Laments: Prayer Out of Pain. This article is from a Catholic magazine, but has great biblical application for praying from grief.

BE DOERS, NOT JUST HEARERS (practical application):

Write a prayer of lament. Using the prayers of Job and Habbakuk as a guide, use the words “though”and “yet” to begin to phrase your lament. Do this when you are facing difficulty. Save this exercise in prayer for the hard moments in your life.

  1. Find a quiet place with God. Being alone with Him is a necessity for this kind of prayer.
  2. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. He will lead you in a prayer of lament. He will open up your heart to God.
  3. Be in God’s presence. We are often so much in a hurry but a prayer of lament takes time spent in God’s presence. Give yourself wholly to God.
  4. Write down the “though” circumstances in your life. What difficulties and challenges are you right now facing? What pain or grief do you feel? These are the “though” circumstances.
  5. Offer these things to God. Offer God the hard things as a sacrifice. Don’t ask for anything.
  6. Worship God by completing the phrase. “Though these things have happened, yet _________.”Worship God in a series of yet statements. Bless and praise Him even in spite of the difficult things.