DEVOTION: Week of April 19

It takes humility, doesn’t it? To admit we’re ruined and need renewal. To admit that our spirit needs help, that we can’t do it on our own. It takes humility and weakness, a willingness to be low and vulnerable. To admit there are ugly parts to our hearts, that our fruit doesn’t much reflect love and joy and all those other good things anymore. That our first inclination is negative and self-centered, not hopeful and Jesus-focused.

It’s hard work, being renewed.

It means letting go of anger. Letting go of anger and bitterness, of our earthly sense of justice and fairness. It means letting go of disappointment. Laying down disappointment and hurt, of wounds and heartbreaks. It’s hard to lay those down, to take our hands off and let God work them out however He decides. Even if it looks different than we want it to. Even if we never see how He chooses to do it.

There’s pride involved. So much pride. We assume that letting go of our negativity and bitterness means wrongs will never be righted. That my anger, righteous as it may be, is what’s holding the scales of fairness and justice in equal weight. And if I simply let it go, the whole thing crumbles. The whole thing, to be quite honest, was a house of cards anyway. My dead and depleted spirit wasn’t keeping anything alive, least of all me.

Allowing God to renew us means we have a coming-to-the-end-of-ourselves moment. A moment where we see the corners where the cobwebs and mold have collected; where the edges are damaged, and the dust blows thick; where we can’t even breathe because stagnant air of discouragement lies thick around every turn.

And so we give God permission to pull back the curtains and let in the light. He opens the windows and the fresh air of His spirit blows in and we get to work. I throw out my anger, He ties it up and takes it to the street. I recycle my disappointment and He turns it into purpose. I box up hard memories; some day I’ll pull them out again and marvel at how He worked in them while I had no earthy idea He was even working at all.

It’s hard work, what we do. He does the miraculous part—the actual transforming of old spirit into new—but our part is the hardest. We have to be willing to part with those things we’ve held so dear: expectations and grievances, frustrations and unfairness, hostilities and what we think we deserve. They don’t leave willingly, nor do we cast them aside without a second thought; they’ve been with us so long, closer than a brother at times. Old friends. They’re even warranted at times. It’s almost painful to let them go.

But my spirit and my future don’t deserve the chokehold they have on me. I can’t run the race set before me with these things holding me back, weighing me down. What do I want more? To hold on to them for fear God won’t bring justice to my anger? Or let them go and realize if I’m free then it doesn’t matter how He decides to work it?

We have to be humble. We have to admit we need renewal, and be willing to let it all go. We have to discard our anger and disappointment, our pride and ourselves and give God permission to restore to us our spirit. We have to do this so we may love Him, follow Him, and bring others to Him.

Be willing today.

“Turn my eyes away from vanity [all those worldly, meaningless things that distract—let Your priorities be mine], and restore me [with renewed energy] in Your ways.” (Psalm 119:37, Amplified)

—Monica

QUESTIONS FOR THIS WEEK:

MONDAY

We often think humility means thinking less of ourselves, when really, it means thinking of ourselves less. This is especially true when it comes to needing renewal. We have to be willing to think less of OUR frustrations, OUR bitterness, OUR injustices, OUR anger than we think of the righteousness of God. We think OUR unfairness is greater than anyone else’s. What things are you holding on to that you can let go of in humility? What has become so prominent in your life that it’s keeping you from the renewal that Christ is desperate to give? Lay it down, pray for forgiveness, and be renewed today.

“Laying your life down in tender surrender before the Lord will bring life, prosperity, and honor as your reward.“ (Proverbs 22:4, The Passion Translation)

TUESDAY

Our pride keeps us from a host of good things. It keeps us from repairing broken relationships, asking forgiveness from each other, asking for help. When it comes to having a renewed spirit and mind, pride keeps us from allowing God to be God. We decide, intentionally or not, that we know better and we end up playing god ourselves. We decide we can’t let go of this deep-rooted bitterness, because then the person or persons who wronged us won’t ever pay for what they did. We decide we can’t let go of our hurt because it will keep us from being surprised and breathless when we get hurt again. The truth is, we’ve protected ourselves from nothing at all. All we’ve kept out are the good things; the bad has a way of worming its way back in whether we’re ready for it or not. How is pride affecting your freedom? How is it keeping you from the spiritual and mental renewal God wants to give?

“When pride comes [boiling up with an arrogant attitude of self-importance], then come dishonor and shame, But with the humble [the teachable who have been chiseled by trial and who have learned to walk humbly with God] there is wisdom and soundness of mind.” (Proverbs 11:2, Amplified)

WEDNESDAY

What is your coming-to-the-end-of-yourself moment? What’s lurking in the dark corners that you’re desperate to be free of? Mine happened on a random Wednesday afternoon, where I was so sick of my own damaged spirit, I fell to my knees on the side of my bed and begged God to renew me. And He did. I got up from that floor renewed in spirit instantly. To admit it and let go of it is our hardest work, but the freedom on the other side is invaluable. Go to Him today.

“God, listen! Listen to my prayer, listen to the pain in my cries. Don’t turn your back on me just when I need you so desperately. Pay attention! This is a cry for help! And hurry—this can’t wait!” (Psalm 102:1-2, The Message)

THURSDAY

How can you give God permission today to clean house? Where can you let Him in to shine light where it’s dark; to clean up what’s been piling up in the corners? Maybe you’re just now realizing you’ve been holding onto hurts that are years old now; hurts that you won’t ever get an apology for. How can you tangibly let them go and invite God in to bring healing and renewal? Maybe it’s journaling. Maybe it’s finding a prayer partner. Maybe it’s writing it down and then burning it in a symbolic act of it being gone forever. Spend time reflecting on how you can do this today, and afterwards, ask God to fill the place you just emptied with His goodness.

FRIDAY

Spend some time thinking through exactly what kind of renewal you need. Do you need to be renewed in spirit? In mind? In body? The Bible is full of verses and examples of all types of renewal. Find a story or person that reflects your current struggle and need for restoration, and study it. Write down and memorize a verse to encourage you in your journey.

“Yes, God is more than ready to overwhelm you with every form of grace, so that you will have more than enough of everything—every moment and in every way. He will make you overflow with abundance in every good thing you do.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

WANT TO HEAR MORE?

Go back and listen to one of our earlier podcasts on the Be Renewed in Self, from the series Be Renewed.