DEVOTION: March 6

“I can’t, I think I’m going to church.”

We’d been roommates for over a year, and she wanted to carve pumpkins. But I rendered her speechless by turning down the fun. In the past year, she had only seen and known the girl who seemed to voluntarily run in the opposite direction of church. Running from pain smack dab into fresh, new pain every day, every weekend, every month.

“No, really. I am going to church.”

Life had recently been fairly shocking, and my reaction had been to rebel. Yet it only left me breathlessly army-crawling my way through. So when I (finally!) came to the end of myself, I did the only thing I could think of that ever made me feel loved, safe, secure:

I went to church. 

For six months, I’d tip-toe in the back left-side door of the sanctuary, and slide into the last row, and cry my eyes out. I never spoke to anyone. I just sat and allowed God’s presence and love wash over me. It took every bit of those six months, but I slowly began to heal.

I just wanted to sit very, very still and just be in God’s love. To feel His arms wrap around me with compassion and grace, soothing my oh-so-aching soul. It was painful, but that good kind of painful. That fixing-up-a-skinned-knee kind of painful—the kind that stings, but you know it’s for your good. A stitching-together kind of painful.

Cocooning can be a refuge and a shelter, a place we hide under God’s wing. But while we’re there, it becomes the most transformative time of metamorphosis, where we grow wings. And the purpose, the goal of cocooning is always the same—

Be willing to let the caterpillar die, so the butterfly can live.

Think back to a time in life when God hid you in a cocoon, and whispered transformational change over your life. What did that time feel like? How did it change your perception of God and your relationship to Him? Journal your thoughts today and thank Him for loving you too much to let you stay the same.

“His massive arms are wrapped around you, protecting you. You can run under his covering of majesty and hide. His arms of faithfulness are a shield keeping you from harm.”
(Psalm 91:4, The Passion Translation)