DEVOTION: Week of May 17

We dance, and I wonder what He’s doing. One step forward, two steps back. A nonstop marathon of progress and regression; doors opened then closed. Him leading and me following. I’m confused and lost, but following.

As the quick steps become slow and methodical, I wonder if He’s changed His mind. Maybe He decided I’m still not quite ready. Maybe He realizes I can’t handle plan A, so He’s moving on to plan B. Or worse yet, maybe this off-road trail we’re on is my own doing to my undoing—I messed it up, got us off rhythm, made one critical misstep that threw the entire thing off course.

Logically, I know this isn’t true. Logically I know the Truth of how God sees me. Logically I know I don’t hold near the power I think I do; that, and God isn’t holding my entire future based on one small error I made without knowing what I was doing.

But my heart has a much harder time holding onto Truth.

Those times I walk through open doors that come to a screeching halt. Those times I stand on the precipice of something exciting, and it suddenly fizzles out. Those times my prayers feel unheard and unappreciated. Those times I think God is doing one thing, but then seems to ghost me. And not the holy kind.

Those are the times I question and I doubt and I wonder. My heart wins out over my head; my feelings rule over knowledge of what I know to be true.

So we start all over again, the song plays back at the beginning. One step forward, but three steps back this time.

Is this still progress?

The one true thing I know about myself is that it’s very easy for me to get focused more on it than on God. That I tend to wait on it more than Him. That instead of just looking at the moment in front of me and asking Him to strengthen me for it, I look down the road and ahead and get lost in the imaginary world of maybes.

So when He slows me to a simple one, two, three, I know it’s because I’ve done it again. When my mind swirls with questions and doubts and feeling lost and left alone, it’s because I’ve forgotten the one critical rule about dancing…

Let Him lead. Don’t overthink it. Enjoy this moment right here. Don’t lose today being worried about tomorrow.

The song plays back at the beginning because I don’t fully know it yet. Until I memorize the words and hum along with the melody and know it in my heart and in my bones, He has to start over and play it again. One day, I’ll have the muscle memory to let myself get carried along without questioning along the way. Today may not be that day, but I’m getting further along in the song each and every time.

-Monica

QUESTIONS FOR THIS WEEK:

MONDAY

We all have at least one specific area where we have a harder time letting God lead; one area we form our own opinions about how it should look and where it should go. Where is this area for you? Where do you rely on your own wisdom and counsel instead of His? Identify that place today and once again, commit to entrusting it to Him completely. You may have to come back again and again to lay it down, but one day it will be harder for you to pick up. One day you’ll let Him have it completely.

“Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions. With all your heart rely on him to guide you, and he will lead you in every decision you make. Become intimate with him in whatever you do, and he will lead you wherever you go.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, The Passion Translation)

TUESDAY

Having goals and plans and dreams and desires are good things. Oftentimes, they are even God things–planted deep in our hearts from Him directly. The problem though, is when we elevate the goals and plans and dreams above our desire for Him. When we focus on it more than Him, and worship it over Him. Setting our sights on an end goal or dream is noble and worthy, but we have to hold it loosely, allowing God to transform and shape it however He decides. We can’t elevate the method over the message; in our own lives, and in how our goals and dreams come to be. Choose today to let Him direct the steps of how you’ll see that dream or goal fulfilled. Ask Him for eyes to see along the way.

“A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], but the Lord directs his steps and establishes them.” (Proverbs 16:9, Amplified)

WEDNESDAY

It’s easy to feel forgotten and lost, lonely and confused when what we thought God was doing seems to take an incredibly strange detour. When the phone calls dry up; when the road block suddenly appears on the path we thought He led us on; when we follow the steps He laid out but it’s so hard, there are so many bumps and bruises along the way. Instead of focusing on how it feels in these moments, focus on what you know. Find truths in scripture that will reinforce fact over fiction, and declare those truths over the situation, aloud if needed!

“The Eternal One will never leave you; He will lead you in the way that you should go. When you feel dried up and worthless, God will nourish you and give you strength. And you will grow like a garden lovingly tended; you will be like a spring whose water never runs out.” (Isaiah 58:11, The Voice)

THURSDAY

The correction and teaching of the Lord is gentle and full of grace. He doesn’t condemn or shame; He doesn’t shake His head in exasperation that we’ve messed up the dance yet again. Instead, He simply smiles, takes us by the hand to our starting position and lets the song begin again. There is grace, there is love. He loves to dance with us. Even if it means beginning again and again and again. Where do you need to give yourself grace?

 “I am Yahweh, your God. I am the One who teaches you how to succeed and who leads you step by step in the way you should go.” (Isaiah 48:17, The Passion Translation)

FRIDAY

Sometimes we get off beat when we focus on those who are watching us instead of focusing on the next step we’re supposed to take. When we see what she’s doing, who she’s becoming, how she’s succeeding–all of that throws off our rhythm and balance, it keeps us from being led gently and easily. We become too hard to lead, too clumsy to flit along with the music. What sideshow distractions can you ignore today? What practical things can you do to keep diversions to a minimum as you travel the path God has for you?

“Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you.” (Proverbs 4:25-26, The Message)

WANT TO HEAR MORE?

Go back and listen to one of our earlier podcasts on the Be Why & How You Are, from the series Be Who You Are.