DEVOTION: Week of May 24

She sat across from me in the corner booth against the window, sipping her Coke with lime. Our second college visit, we rehashed all we learned and loved about yet another campus. Graduates took pictures across the street at the arches you’re only allowed to cross under once you graduate. I had one of those flash-forward moments that are unique to parents–seeing her as the woman she was yet to become: her maturity and her growth, done her way, on her path. I had to keep a weird smile on my face so I wouldn’t cry. She noticed it anyway. That’s who she is.

She is still today who she has always been since day one. Quietly perceptive, keenly observant, deep thinking, steadfastly loyal, refreshingly consistent, sneakily competitive, determinedly stubborn. Even as a baby she’d demonstrate these qualities. I’d pick her up to hold her, but she wouldn’t bury her head in my shoulder; instead, she’d face outward, arms outstretched, not wanting to miss a thing. She sees it all, she notices it all… she just may never say a word about it. Instead she absorbs deeply; she thinks and mulls and considers and plays out every option and scenario. She loves a plan, covets knowing what to expect. She’s the most prepared teenager I’ve ever known. It’s who she’s always been; it’s who she still is today.

This works both in her favor and to her detriment, of course. This is true for all of our strengths—they can also be our greatest weaknesses. I have to teach her not having a plan is okay sometimes. That spontaneity can be good. That scenario #793 is incredibly unlikely to happen. She never believes me, but I tell her anyway.

The greatest lesson God has taught me as a mom is to let my kids be who they are; while of course they need guidance and growth, I need to quit trying to change their natural wiring, their natural bents. I need to embrace the child I have, not try to turn them into who I think they should be.

There is a gift and a freedom in this lesson. It’s freed me to let God be her God instead of me trying to be Him for her. It’s changed the way I pray for her; I can enjoy this journey of mothering instead of living in a constant and turbulent ball of worry and anxiety.

It’s been a joy to watch her journey unfold, one so very different from my own, thank goodness. I never wanted her to follow in my footsteps because my steps were clunky, taken in shoes fitted with perplexity instead of peace. My steps weren’t as directed by the Lord as I know hers will be. I want her path to be unchartered and unknown; I want her to follow God as He leads her into something perfectly unique and suited for her. An adventure just the two of them share. This is my prayer now.

If we’re going to fully embrace being who we are, then we also have to let others be who they are, too. Our spouses and our kids, our friends and our families. This doesn’t mean overlooking sin and unhealthy behaviors, but it does mean not trying to change something that’s not actually broken in them. Different isn’t bad, it’s different. It’s unique and special and actually quite extraordinary, if we’ll allow ourselves to see it that way.

If we are personally made in the image of God, then that means everyone else is, too. How beautiful that we all reflect such distinctive and beautiful facets of the image of God. What glory we show when we reflect that together.

“Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.” (2 Corinthians 3:18, The Message)

– Monica

QUESTIONS FOR THIS WEEK:

MONDAY

Sometimes we have a hard time accepting others because really we struggle with accepting ourselves. When all we focus on are our own flaws, it’s easy to only see that in others, too. How can you change how you see yourself today? How can that impact how you see others? Ask God to change your mindset and your perceptions; ask Him to see yourself and others the way He does.

“Now let Us conceive a new creation—humanity—made in Our image, fashioned according to Our likeness.“ (Genesis 1:26, The Voice)

TUESDAY

We tend to think of the verse in Proverbs about ‘training up a child’ as teaching them about the ways of God. And of course, this is not only true but vital. But the Hebrew for this verse more accurately translates it to mean instruct a child according to his manners and habits. This understanding gives me freedom to parent each child individually and uniquely; what my daughter responds to isn’t what my son responds to. I have to acknowledge their individuality and train and instruct them in ways that are most understood by them. It’s easier said than done, to be sure. But what a great lesson can we give our kids by teaching them their individuality is not only a blessing and gift from God, but it’s on purpose.

“Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, Amplified)

WEDNESDAY

Are we bearing the image of man or the image of God? It’s a bold question, but one we have to honestly look in the mirror and ask ourselves. Do our social media feeds reflect the world or Jesus? Do our text threads reflect culture or Christ? This isn’t to say never have a laugh or fun. But in an honest assessment, do you have more tantrums on display than fruits of the spirit? Do you have more criticism than grace? As disciples of Christ, we are called to carry the likeness of Jesus, not our peers. The Greek word for carry means to bear constantly, to wear. We need to clothe ourselves with the most holy and blessed state of mind, which Christ possesses (Greek for likeness.)

“Once we carried the likeness of the man of dust, but now let us carry the likeness of the man of heaven.” (1 Corinthians 15:49, The Passion Translation)

THURSDAY

It’s incredibly, scarily easy to assume that because someone thinks differently, acts differently and speaks differently that they are simply wrong. We discount and discredit people all the time because they aren’t like us, especially people we love the most. How would your relationships change if you gave the loved ones around you space to simply be different than you? I’m not talking about allowing blatant sins, but creating room for them to express why they think the way they do. How they developed the opinions they have. Giving them permission to not just see the world in an entirely different way than you do, but sharing it with you, too.

“Now may God, the source of great endurance and comfort, grace you with unity among yourselves, which flows from your relationship with Jesus, the Anointed One. Then, with a unanimous rush of passion, you will with one voice glorify God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. You will bring God glory when you accept and welcome one another as partners, just as the Anointed One has fully accepted you and received you as his partner.” (Romans 5:5-7, The Passion Translation)

FRIDAY

Do you have a hard time letting your loved one be who they are? Do you recognize the tendency in yourself to try to push them, change them, tell them how they think and feel is wrong? Parents have a natural inclination to do this, I think it’s born in us when they come into this world; this temptation to pave a way and expectations that arise based on ourselves. But it happens in friendships and other relationships too. Recognize that it exists, and ask God what is at the root of it. Maybe it’s fear, concerned about how their life will turn out. Maybe it’s control, a desire to be in charge of every direction and decision. Maybe it’s pride, worrying about how it reflects on you. Commit to recognizing the root and be determined to get rid of it. There is freedom on the other side of the side effects of these kinds of internal sins.

“For God shows no partiality [undue favor or unfairness; with Him one man is not different from another].” (Romans 2:11, Amplified)

WANT TO HEAR MORE?

Go back and listen to one of our earlier podcasts on the Be What You Are, from the series Be Who You Are.